Many reasons.

There are a few reasons for writing this blog.  It has obviously been quite a while since I have updated.  As general updates on my life go, I am still very happily with Taylor.  I am home in Colorado again, I got back on July 31st.  Things at home have been very rocky for me.  I am doing my best to keep my head above water so to speak, but it’s not as easy as it sounds.  I thought I had a job, but right now I don’t even know.  The boss lady hired Taylor and I, but has kinda been giving us the run around.  I guess it will play out how it’s supposed to.  Now, this is most definitely not everything that has happened in the last couple months, but right now I have other things on my mind, so I will get back to you on that.  More recently, I have been having some problems.  I have been getting a lot of random moments of depression.  They will just hit me out of nowhere.  To go along with that, I have developed some sort of phobia of being by myself.  For example, every time Taylor has to leave me.  It’s tough to explain because it’s completely irrational.  In my head I know that he needs and deserves time to himself, time with his friends, just time away from me in general.  In my head, I am okay with that.  Some other part of me is not okay with being alone though.  I can’t really control it and it is driving me insane.  It just happened again tonight when he needed time with his friends.  I have been stressing him out so much,  I can see it.  It isn’t right and I feel so bad about it every single time.  Tonight though, we talked about it for nearly two hours.  He was calm and I eventually got there.  I felt so much better after talking with him.  I really wonder what I did to deserve someone who treats me so ridiculously amazing. I love him like you wouldn’t believe.  Anyway, I had more to say, but I am having some trouble thinking straight.  I will try to get back to you on all of this. 

~Emily