Long day.

The days are always longer when you are looking forward to something.  Isn't that how it goes for everyone? I get to go to the Springs today, and stay till Sunday.  I am super excited to see everyone.  Till then it is just me and Nina.  God am I sore.  I have had two yoga classes in the past two days.  Add that on top of child care and you've got sore muscles.  I so have to tell you about my awkward night. 

So what happened was, I got out of yoga to find out I left my headlights on. I then proceeded to walk from store to store to find someone who could jump my car. I found someone, and I felt so bad for asking. She jumped my car, and went back to work. I go to start the car and it dies again. I had to go BACK for her. So she came back out, jumped me, and we left it running for like ten minutes. I sat with the running cars while she went back to work for that block of time. While I was sitting by myself with the cars, this guy walks up and starts talking to me. Asks about where I'm from and such. He then asks if I want some weed. Later he proceeds to ask if I would like to go back to his place. I obviously declined (politely of course) and he left. Then, this other guy (who is friends with the girl who jumped my car) walks over to me and starts talking. Btw, he walked out of the liquor store. He offers me a beer because I apparently looked super stressed. I declined and he then proceeded to mega flirt with me. He then took the girls keys back to her, and I was on my way back home. I got hit on TWICE in no less than twenty minutes, and offered both weed AND beer. What a night.  Yup.  That's how it went.  I was so happy to be on the road after all of that, even if I was super exhausted.  Driving made me feel less awkward at least.  Annnnyway, let me take this time to tell you about how much I really am in love with my Taylor.  I find myself thinking about him almost all of the time.  I sometimes catch myself thinking about him when I don't even realize I was actively doing it.  I love him so much that I don't even know what to do with myself sometimes.  He really makes me feel good about myself.  He knows exactly how to make me smile.  While trying to explain this to you, I am actually becoming speechless, I am trying to find a way to explain this to you, but all I can do is smile.

Taylor, I am deeply madly and truly in love with you.

<3

~Emily

Boulder.

What a better day to rediscover my blog than New Year's Eve? Yes, I am now living in Boulder.  I moved up here to be a live in nanny for Tania and Jerry.  I help keep the house in order and take care of the little monsters.  It's been pretty tough being by myself.  I miss Taylor like a ton.  I video chat with him like every night though.  At least we have that.  It has been different being by myself.  It is not something that I can say I am used to.  It's quiet if you don't count the children.  I don't always have much to keep me busy, so I kind of lounge when I'm not on duty.  I listen to a lot of music and drink a lot of tea as well.  Today and yesterday the weather has been pretty crazy, it started snowing pretty hard.  It's freezing out there.  I watched a video on facebook of a 20 car pileup in the Springs.  I ended up warning Taywee, I was worried.  On to another random note, I have been awake since about 5:45 AM.  I woke up and emptied everything in my stomach.  I did not feel good.  At least I was able to come back and lay down for a couple hours (on my new heated mattress pad) but I did not get any more sleep.  So, hopefully I will be starting yoga soon.  I think it will help me.  I need some sort of stable low key exercising class.  Anyway, i am pretty excited because Taylor should be up here around 6 PM.  I can't wait!! We are babysitting the monsters tonight, watching movies, and making coffee cake.  Tomorrow night we are going on a date.  Yay!
Well, that's all for now.  I'll try to keep you updated.

~Emily

Btw...I am writing this in English class...

I know... I'm a bad person.  But hey, I'm still participating in the discussion.  But anyway, my mom pretty much kicked me out of my house today.  I have no one to stay with.  I lost my ride to school.  Life blows sometimes.  Luckily Taylor's brother shares my English class, so I can carpool to that one.  I MAY be able to get a ride with Jody to my baking class (ex boyfriends mom, still super close with her.)  A couple problems would be a ride home from baking, and a ride to my Monday math class.  I don't even know where to begin figuring things out.  I need a job like you wouldn't believe.  With job comes car, moving out... Well... A lot comes with getting a job.  It's pretty much necessary.  Not to mention I am about to get kicked off of my health insurance because my step mom can't afford it any more thanks to my father.  This means I need to file taxes, be an independent, and apply for Medicaid.  Again, this comes with job as well.  I am just a huge ball of stress.  Thank god I have Taylor, I don't know where I would be without him right now.  He is pretty much my hero.  I hate this being a 'half adult' crap.  I am old enough to do all of these great things, to be independent, but do not have the means of getting there.  Therefore I am not really a full adult.  If my stress level continues to stay this high, I am going to start losing my appetite again.  I don't fully understand it, but it happens.  Life.  Ugh.

~Emily

Tis been a while.

I am blogging this while preparing some Apfelkuchen (German apple cake.)  I am also photographically documenting the process for another blog.  Blogging while blogging.  I am a nerd.  Now I finally have the cake in the oven and there are a million pictures of it.  Mannnn, my house is empty except for me now.  My little brother went next door for the night and my family went with George to Mind Seizure.  You couldn't get me to go there if you dragged me.  I hate haunted houses.  (But love scary movies...Go figure.) Anyway, I get the car while they are gone, so Taylor and I are going out for dinner once I get this cake out of the oven and pick him up.  I wish we could go somewhere creative, but all that is close is Applebees and a Chinese place.  We will probably end up doing Applebees again.  I would love to do Borriello Brothers Pizza, but I can't have cheese.  Sad.  So now I have at least 25 minutes on the timer.  Lammmmme.  What is there to do while I wait? Eat oreos? Hahahaha.  I'll let you know how it turns out.

~Emily 

Many reasons.

There are a few reasons for writing this blog.  It has obviously been quite a while since I have updated.  As general updates on my life go, I am still very happily with Taylor.  I am home in Colorado again, I got back on July 31st.  Things at home have been very rocky for me.  I am doing my best to keep my head above water so to speak, but it’s not as easy as it sounds.  I thought I had a job, but right now I don’t even know.  The boss lady hired Taylor and I, but has kinda been giving us the run around.  I guess it will play out how it’s supposed to.  Now, this is most definitely not everything that has happened in the last couple months, but right now I have other things on my mind, so I will get back to you on that.  More recently, I have been having some problems.  I have been getting a lot of random moments of depression.  They will just hit me out of nowhere.  To go along with that, I have developed some sort of phobia of being by myself.  For example, every time Taylor has to leave me.  It’s tough to explain because it’s completely irrational.  In my head I know that he needs and deserves time to himself, time with his friends, just time away from me in general.  In my head, I am okay with that.  Some other part of me is not okay with being alone though.  I can’t really control it and it is driving me insane.  It just happened again tonight when he needed time with his friends.  I have been stressing him out so much,  I can see it.  It isn’t right and I feel so bad about it every single time.  Tonight though, we talked about it for nearly two hours.  He was calm and I eventually got there.  I felt so much better after talking with him.  I really wonder what I did to deserve someone who treats me so ridiculously amazing. I love him like you wouldn’t believe.  Anyway, I had more to say, but I am having some trouble thinking straight.  I will try to get back to you on all of this. 

~Emily

Scheduled up.

My life is now between constant babysitting, Shandee and Ben, phone calls to and from Taylor<3, and general appointments and such.  It's actually pretty funny, I have been back and forth between babysitting, and hanging with Shandee and Ben since Sunday.  I stayed the night with the both of them at Ben's place for four nights now.  It's been fun.  It's been a good distraction from how absolutely lonely I have been.  Goddddddd I miss him so much.  There will always be random moments in the day that it will be worse too.  Like right now, I miss him even more so now because I am going to bed soon.  Bleh.  Well, off to bed.

~Emily