A double break up? Yes. I had to break up with him not once, but twice. It is no longer a break, it is no longer anything. It hurts for it to be over, but it is better as well. I feel both relieved and depressed. Which feeling will win over? On top of all of this, I did it in a restaurant. At least I know now exactly how good I am at faking a smile. There were cameras everywhere. I feel so alone out here. I feel that if I don't find things to keep myself busy, I will fall into an even deeper depression. That is not something I want to let happen. At the same time, it feels so out of my control. I feel the need to "cleanse". How do I do that? What will fill this hole?
~Emily
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