So it's over then. Where do I go from here? Where am I? I'm lost, I am confused, I did this to myself. I think I am broken. He had more than just my heart. It feels like he has a part of me that I will never get back. I don't feel like a whole person anymore. Am I still me? Do I still belong here? Give me a reason to believe I do, please. I'm not sure I have ever been this afraid. I'm not sure I have ever felt this guilty. I didn't just break his heart...I broke my own. I need someone to tell me they can fix it. I need someone to tell me that everything is going to be alright. No, I need someone who makes everything feel like it's alright. (When I talk to you, I do feel like I am alright, I forget about things sometimes, and then I get off the phone, and I remember.) They say it doesn't last forever. They say I will move on. Will I? Should I? Do I deserve to? I am not asking to gain pity. I am asking because I honestly do not know. How am I going to make it through the summer? Can't I just bring you with me? That may make it better. Will I still get my own place? Should I?
Will you come with me if I don't want to do it alone? I'd like that.
~Emily
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