Everyone says that I WILL get better day by day. Everyone seems to know that things will improve. Everyone feels this but me. All I can do is find things to fill the empty feeling inside me, if only temporarily. I try to keep myself busy, I try not to stay alone in my head for long. I feel like I need to stay out of the house for long periods of time. If I do this, I am forcing myself to focus on something else. Sometimes if feels wrong to feel so upset about this break up, only because I initiated it. Is that true? I did what I thought was best for the both of us. I DO still love him, very much. I just couldn't keep living like I was. I was constantly stressing out to the point of physical pain. Anyways, as I was saying before, I am trying to stay out of the house as often as possible. Tomorrow Sick Puppies will be in our local venue (I saw them 2 times already and they are my favorite band) And I am trying to locate a non-busy friend to go with me. I really want to go. I really just want to stay out of my head, and music is probably a good way to achieve that.
~Emily
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